Sexual Addiction Recovery Begins with Acknowledging All Parts of Yourself

Healing a Sexual Addiction through the Internal Family Systems Approach

Sexual addictions are on the rise at an alarming rate. Families across the world are fighting to win the battle. Likewise, many are looking for clarity about addiction and how to heal. 

A successful therapeutic approach for healing sexual addiction is through the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. IFS therapy identifies the inner parts of our mind that work together to fight negative thoughts and beliefs. We believe each part exhibits specific behaviors. As a result, individuals can gain clarity behind the why of their addictions. 

IFS therapy can be life-changing. As you identify your exiles, managers, and firefighters, you'll find new ways to give them a voice. As a result, the process can lead you to full recovery from your sexual addiction. 

Sexual Addiction Recovery Can Begin by Identifying Your Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters.

Each of us, working toward recovery, or not, has an internal family system. This system is comprised of exiles, managers, and firefighters. As such, each of our parts exhibits specific behaviors when situations arise. 

Our exiles hold on to and display the negative thoughts that become our core beliefs over time. Our core beliefs are not who we are; instead, who we believe or fear we are. Exiles take on the job of shining a light on those negative beliefs. As a result, they create an internal dialogue of thoughts like, "I'm not enough." "I'm not loveable." "Something is wrong with me." "I'm worthless." "I'm broken." "I'm ___." Often, addictions form as a way to numb out or quiet our exiles. A negative belief you developed earlier in life is likely at the root of your sexual addiction. 

When exiles are in charge, we often feel shame in one way or another. So, to intervene, our brain calls out for someone else to step in and take charge. Queue our protectors, also known as our managers, and firefighters. They work to calm and regulate us but in very different ways. Managers work to prevent the exiles from taking over, while firefighters react for quicker results. 

Our managers exhibit behaviors like perfectionism, control, being passive-aggressive, or overachieving. On the contrary, our firefighter's behaviors include yelling, rage, addiction, over-eating, or violence. In other words, our managers are proactive while our firefighters are reactive. Your sexual addiction is likely a behavior your firefighters led you to in an attempt to quiet your exiles.

Why Healing From Sexual Addiction, or Any Addiction, Gets Easier as We Identify Our Parts. 

As you begin to work toward your recovery, you will likely have some tough battles along the way. Often, our parts are triggered and flare up before we even have a moment to realize what has happened. For example, talking about your addiction can lead to shame and trigger your exiles. In an instant, you find yourself on the defense. You begin yelling uncontrollably. Then, your managers feel devastated by your firefighter's behaviors. As a result, your exiles are filled with shame. Thus, the cycle continues as the firefighters rush back in. All this can happen in a matter of seconds. As such, you may feel defeated or hopeless and want to run back to your sexual addiction. 

However, as you begin to understand and identify each part of your IFS, you will learn how to give each a voice. For example, instead of punching the wall, you give your firefighter a voice by saying, "I'm so angry, I want to punch the wall. Rather than turning to your sexual addiction, you'll learn how to turn away from it. 

As we begin to break up our IFS behavior cycle, our core self begins to lead our thoughts. As a result, the battle within ends and true healing and recovery begins.

Recovery from Sexual Addiction Leads us Back to Our Core Self.

At the core of who you are, you are calm, clear-minded, connected, compassionate, and curious. Likewise, you are the best version of you, when you're attuned to your core self. When our negative core beliefs begin directing our thoughts, our internal family system takes over. This often leads to addiction or other unwanted behaviors. In other words, your sexual addiction is not who you are; it's a behavior you've turned to. 

The road to sexual addiction recovery is difficult. However, navigating it gets easier as you learn how to avoid the pitfalls that lead you back to your addiction. Addo Recovery can help you through this process. We are here to help everyone in your family identity their IFS, so everyone can lead and live from their authentic core self. You can schedule an appointment with us today.